Being Scared

As I peruse the world wide web, reading various news articles on the newspaper's websites in the various cities I have lived, it strikes me how many of them now allow people to comment on the articles. It also strikes me how articles about mundane things can become politicized by the commenters. Every day takes us closer to the Presidental Election, and of course that is on everyone's minds. But what interests me about this is how "scared" everyone is. Inevitably, someone will post something about how Palin scares them because she is so unqualified, or whatever. And then someone else will post how Obama scares them because he is socialist, or whatever. Over and over, people are scared by the opposing candidate(s). Come November 4th, some will continue to be scared, others will rejoyce.

This interests me because I still remember the 2000 election vividly. I was living in Florida, which ended up being ground zero in the battle for the presidency. I remember being full of anxiety as the election approached, and when no winner was declared it only grew and grew. The idea the W could be president was intolerable. What would become of our world? Of our lives? I remember seeing a sign on campus on the day of the election that said, "Not another son of a bush!" And yet, here we are 8 years later. It hasn't been pretty - that's for sure. We're in an endless and pointless war, thousands of lives needlessly lost. Bin Laden is still on the loose after killing thousands of people in our country. The economy soared and then crashed. The gap between the rich and the poor has only expanded. It's kind of a mess. Some of it is W's fault, some of it isn't.

In the past 8 years, I also finished 2 more degrees, got married, my husband completed 2 degrees, we lived in 3 different states, our income has gone from below poverty line to solidly middle class, and we had a child. I'm not trying to diminish the terrible things that W and his peeps have done to our country. That's part of what is so shocking to me: that this election is anything but a landslide. You'd think people would be lining up behind the Democrats to make a change. But fear rules. I guess sometimes it's easier to stick with the known awfulness than to leap into the possibly better.

Point being, life goes on. One of them will win, and half of the people will feel anxiety and fear because of it. And yet our government is supposed to be "by the people, for the people." Most people do nothing in the political process. Most don't even vote. What I'm saying is if people are so scared, then do something about it! Whoever gets into office is not a king, is not a dictator. He will not have infinite power. That's not what our system is about. So, use that fear or anxiety to keep him honest. To keep whoever's administration on the right track. W has done what he's done because good people sat back and let him do it. We were so scared by September 11th, that we gave him free reign. We have to say never again.

We can let fear paralyze us, or motivate us. Maybe this time around we'll choose the later.

Reflections on Current Politics

As a proud feminist, I had been hoping that in 2008 we'd be witnessing and celebrating the first woman President's nomination and subsequent election. That didn't happen. And, I was as shocked as everyone else to learn that we now have a female VP in the mix. This has been a fascinating week, seeing all this unfold. Watching the party and commentators rally around her has been interesting and a little comical, in a dark kind of way. I can't help but note how quickly things change when the shoe is on the other foot - when their candidate is a woman. Enlightenment happened overnight, it seems. Or, at least, it happens when it suits them. For the moment. How long this enlightenment might last remains to be seen.

It interests me that women are being drawn to her because she is a working mom. Likewise, they're repulsed by her because she's a working mom. It's like the debate that has happened for a number of years is now in full view (if it wasn't before): can a mother of 5 hold a job, a position of power, like the Vice President and be a good mother? Should she? Is she a bad mother if she does? Is this a sexist question to ask? Should Barack's 2 small children be a factor (it isn't) in his election bid? Is that sexist?

My thoughts are these: Can she be a mom and a VP? YES! Will she harm her children if she is? YES! Parents in these positions harm their children. They are put under a microscope and scrutinized and this is now their life. Barack's children are in the same boat. It's what the media and the public do, and it can't be helped. But in terms of holding the job and being a mom, the fact that she is a mom does not mean she shouldn't or couldn't do the job - to the same extent that Barack can do the job and be a father. Will sacrifices be made? YES. Will dad have to have a bigger (read: unconventional) role in the child rearing? YES. But it can be done.

The fact is, people still expect mom to be the main (if only) caretaker of children. It still causes major discomfort to think any differently because we want to believe that this is natural/biological. In my experience, that is both true and false. As a mother myself, I know first hand that there is a reality that moms and babies are bound together in a particular way. The whole experience of the pregnancy lies - or should I say, consumes - the mother. And, if she breastfeeds, then the bulk of the childcare of the infant lies on her - and that is a consuming thing as well. Babies eat a lot. All the time. At all hours. And there is a bond that comes from that feeding relationship and the 9 months that led up to it. That is not to belittle or demean a father's role in all of this. I wanted everything to be equal, as did my husband. But there is a bigger burden on mom in these early phases. I didn't want this to be true, but experience tells me it is.

And yet, with a lot of support, a mom can also work. When I came off maternity leave, I brought my baby to work with me for the first year of his life (until he started walking). He went to meetings with me, slept in my office, and had his tummy time on a blanket on the floor while I got work done. I could do this because I had co-workers that were incredibly supportive and helped tremendously. They tolerated his crying when he was fussy, and would take turns entertaining him if I needed to focus on a project. And, they recognized my ability to multitask - to bounce a baby and be part of a meeting. Without that environment, it wouldn't have worked.

Point being: it's possible to do. I would be lying if I said it was easy. It was completely draining and was completely double duty. It's one thing to work and then come home and be mom/wife, and another to work and be mom simultaneously. Very hard and draining. But do-able.

So, that's my view on if she can/should do the job. I do think that having her on this ticket (at this point in history) is progress. Maybe it will put a few more cracks in that glass ceiling. I also hope that it is progress to be able to say I don't support her or that ticket because I completely disagree with everything they represent and their ideologies. Shockingly, I feel like I'm in a position to applaud the progress of the situation, and still have the freedom to weigh their candidacy without consideration to gender, or age for that matter. I identify with her position being wife/mother/career person, but that alone will not earn my support of their politics.

There's still a ways to go until the election. It will be interesting to watch this all continue to unfold...